May 19, 2023 | Ilona Williams
A powerful woman
Our guest blogger is Ilona who tells us about the power of a woman. From being a victim to a woman who takes her own life into her own hands!
It is not easy to be a victim, although, to someone who has never been one, it may seem quite the opposite. After all it’s enough to do nothing, to submit to other people and opinions, and to live as others expect us to live. That’s how it looks at first glance, but when you delve further there is tremendous suffering, pain, shame, and guilt, but at the same time tremendous strength, endurance, patience, and a good heart.
I was a victim of domestic violence from birth, and 37 years of living in immense pain. I know what a woman feels, who lives not for herself but for others, who sacrifices every part of herself and is not even aware that she is a victim.
She doesn’t even know that it is possible to live differently. From birth she was shaped by other people, first her parents then the people she encountered on her path. They were her teachers and she believed that this was the only truth.
Today she is a grown woman who may have children and not just one and a husband who fits her perfectly. Of course if there is a victim then for balance there must also be an ” executioner “. She has forgotten who she is, she doesn’t even know what she likes anymore.
Every day when leaving home, she puts on masks. She lies to herself and creates a world of illusion. This is the only way she can survive. On the surface, she looks like a happy and well-groomed woman. Only she knows that she lives in hell. Evening comes and the masks must be taken off… She looks in the mirror and wonders how much longer she has enough strength for this existence.
When she decides to take her life into her own hands, her suffering will end. She will transform herself into a woman who will shine with the light of love, courage, and harmony. She will change not only herself but also everything around her. She will realize that she is unique, that we are all like that, and that we are all one.
Each of us can accomplish this. If I succeeded, anyone can do it! The key is to trust and ask for help.
We are never alone!
Love begets love!
Violence begets violence!
Fighting begets fighting!
I chose love. Each of us makes a choice. We are responsible for our own lives! Let’s not put it in the hands of other people!
This first and most important step belongs to you. From it, the change begins. Ask for help, plan, and do it wisely, not on impulse. Many organizations want to help and know how to do it.
Here are some links that may be helpful, which I have used myself:
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/
https://hollieguard.com/#support
https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk
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